The thing with Daddyji is

• not that he needs a lot of attention and time - Amma also needed that and so did Chicory

he doesn't really like me (or at least that is the sense i get) and for him I am a means to an end.. I am like a furniture or a painting in his house, his life - and do not have an existence beyond that. All he seems to care about is - what I can do for him and how I reflect on him. I kind of wonder how he succeed as much as he did, and made friends, as many as he did.. am i missing something?

 

But he is an old man now, and if I am not kind to him now, I will never get another opportunity.. Even so, I can't seem to gather up enough energy.. and the few things I try to do, like make him a nice meal or take him out somewhere, it seems to fall flat on its face. It doesn't seem to make him happy, so I give up.. 

He doesn't realise that all those years that I was there, that I was taking them out to the beach etc.- that I was there because of Amma, because she loved me, and loved me independent of what I achieved or did not achieve - all that i was able to do for her or not. And she enjoyed going out and she made it worth all the time and effort..