Fog at the crossroads

The fog in my thoughts has increased to the degree that I cannot even write a complete blog post - this is some 4th or 5th attempt! Mind you, I am not uncomfortable, but it feels like I am standing on a street with so much fog around me that I do not know which way to go, except with this rather strong awareness that i must start moving soon.    

I have been burning thru the Maisae Dobbs series on my Kindle, and am totally taken up by the back-drop of the stories. The London between the two world wars. London must be a kind of mother land for me, considering that I have read those books since I was a child. I have a London in my head that I know so intimately, that I have seen grow and wane. It is like those places in Pakistan from where my family comes, that remain only in my head, and in conversations (and now wikipedia). Unlike London, I think those places in Pakistan, could be on the moon or a fragment of some human imagination, for I am so unlikely to ever be able to step on that land. Reading Maisae Dobbs, I so wanted to read how Germany was doing at those times, and I guess guided by unconscious knowledge I picked up Werner Heisenberg's Physics and Beyond, and guess where does that book start? In 1920 Germany, the war had just ended and Werner was in high school and talking to his friends. Of course, they were talking about Atoms, but they were also talking about the world they lived in and the thoughts they thought. All incredibly wonderful.

I don't read in Hindi much (at all!), and I am, so far, a bit overwhelmed by Russian authors and I read the deep Indian philosophy in English - you can see where I am going with this. My world view is limited by this language (and by so much more), and languages and literature is one more path that I might or might not take... i am trying to budget the time and money i have, and i am not sure of the costs and values of experiences in this world. i don't know what i can buy and if i want to buy it anyway! but it is not as bad as that, we are guided fairly often by our unconscious knowledge... we might still find that goal.