Injections and IVF

This morning I put two injections in myself, on the belly, by putting an icepack to numb the area and then pinching my belly. The first injection went okay, the second created a pin prick. This is, I think, the 7th day of injecting myself but the first where I had to inject twice. I think there might be 8 days, in all, of two injections. So, about 15 days of injections*, I think?

I started off scared of needles - not a phobia, just scared of them - I still turn my head during a blood test. So, what I am doing now, really impresses me. I marvel at what an incredible human I am, I am genuinely awed by that person becoming this person because she decided that this thing had to be done. Not to say that I am not relieved when the injection is done that I won't have to do this again for 24 hours. Not to say that I don't look at those injection and always chuckle at thought of how I had always imagined baby making - a lot more fun and moaning with satisfaction. But given where life has brought me, I am thrilled that I have an option of making my own baby without having to find a husband - I mean just think about that. Not finding a husband just means that - not finding a husband, it does not mean anything else. It doesn't mean that I won't have a family or a baby. And right there, I am so impressed with you, World. Like, can you believe it? Even novels and fiction hasn't caught up with you - you are so incredible! 

I am also less exhausted - after months and months of not exercising etc. so I could try and work more and get things done - because the work was important, the work was difficult, and my experience didn't go far enough, and there were no people in my team and because this was an OPPORTUNITY - Chicory got sick and I dropped the ball. And now, while I am doing things, I also realise I can't do things and they fall all over the place. And that is just how it is. 

*these are hormonal injections, and luckily for me, Papa is here and so eating well and generally feeling safe and hormonal side-effects aren't being experienced.