I once sat down and wrote a list of things that I absolutely had to do and I absolutely hated to do, and right on the top of the list was
The best part of my research degree was when my supervisor and I disagreed - obviously - everything was kind of obvious up till then!
You would think, that after these epiphanies, I would be better at appreciating 'hard' - clean, simple, honest, unselfish hard is where good things come from. Hard is the opposite of fear, hard nudges you towards curiousity*, fear towards the known.**
But "hard", curiousity, thinking are, almost by defintion, all hardwork. They are, I have found, like trying to meditate: Try to focus your thoughts on one thing and some how you find your self either binge watching Gotham*** or going to sleep^.
So, all of this yarn, basically to be able to access the strange discomfort in my life right now, and identifying what is the hard behind this discomfort?
What's uncomfortable - joining a new team is uncomfortable, having NO money saved up for emergencies is fucking uncomfortable, having an untidy face, and an untidy house is no fun. Not knowing how I will be able to keep my grandma (who is recovering from a fractured tailbone amongst other things), my grandpa (who really just hates being old and not being able to boss everyone around) and my dog (who is used to being indoors and cuddled rather than being banished outside and screamed at) happy over the Christmas break is not super-uncomfortable, but might begin to get there!
*Necessity is the mother of invention
**Better the devil you know.
***I hated the Scarecrow episode, last night, it was disgusting!!
^ What is this weird magic?
- picking up dog poo from the balcony in a plastic bag and carrying it thru the house and four sets of doors to the bin.
The best part of my research degree was when my supervisor and I disagreed - obviously - everything was kind of obvious up till then!
You would think, that after these epiphanies, I would be better at appreciating 'hard' - clean, simple, honest, unselfish hard is where good things come from. Hard is the opposite of fear, hard nudges you towards curiousity*, fear towards the known.**
But "hard", curiousity, thinking are, almost by defintion, all hardwork. They are, I have found, like trying to meditate: Try to focus your thoughts on one thing and some how you find your self either binge watching Gotham*** or going to sleep^.
So, all of this yarn, basically to be able to access the strange discomfort in my life right now, and identifying what is the hard behind this discomfort?
What's uncomfortable - joining a new team is uncomfortable, having NO money saved up for emergencies is fucking uncomfortable, having an untidy face, and an untidy house is no fun. Not knowing how I will be able to keep my grandma (who is recovering from a fractured tailbone amongst other things), my grandpa (who really just hates being old and not being able to boss everyone around) and my dog (who is used to being indoors and cuddled rather than being banished outside and screamed at) happy over the Christmas break is not super-uncomfortable, but might begin to get there!
*Necessity is the mother of invention
**Better the devil you know.
***I hated the Scarecrow episode, last night, it was disgusting!!
^ What is this weird magic?
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