Change is in the air

I'm switching jobs in a week, and it has been really hard working from home for the last month. Hard not being able to bounce ideas of people at work... but going to work is difficult too. Primarily because you do need a rhythm at work and it is difficult to set one when you don't go in that often, and when you start worrying about getting sick again. 

To paraphrase Joni Mitchell, so many things I could have done but Covid got in my way... or maybe I don't need to paraphrase Joni Mitchell at all - so many things I could have done but life got in my way. I have looked at life from both sides now, from give and take and still somehow it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. maybe she is talking about that life is neither as strong as all that or weak as all that. 

I left a note on my phone last night, it said: we live and walk in more world than just this one. And they talk to each other. And that world that I can feel but not see, there lie the answers I seek about love, and purpose and expression and connection. I was of course thinking about clairvoyants, Anita Moorjani, so many of my own experiences and how the fairy is summoned but not seen by Jonathan Strange in Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norell. 

I feel overwhelmed by things I want so very much in life, but can't seem to know what to do about it. On the otherhand there are two (or maybe even three) things I want dearly and I can do heaps about:

1. work
2. weight loss
3. writing

The 'w' is a nice coincidence. 

Work wise, I just need to provide the handover. Weight-wise, I am working on a strength and running plan with Dave Halpin, an excellent EP, and I will run a marathon within the next twelve months. There is Canberra marathon in April next year and we'll work towards it. And maybe if I can the Braveheart 777 marathon in Canberra (that I expect will happen on 2nd July, to honour Pallavi). Other than that, I don't really need to tweak my diet, just my sleep. I'll work on that. maybe the mild dose of melatonin. Maybe start reading books at night. Writing is a bit of a big whoop right now. I don't know what to do about that. 

Another thing that I am glad I forgot because I have, for better or for worse, decided I can't do anything about it till Mummy and Papa both leave and thinking about it just makes it really bad for me. But I will de-clutter the house. 

Other than that, as I have said here before, I see my children in my future and I see their father. It will happen. Tho, how is as much a mystery to me as anyone else who has never given it any thought.