Dear Mr. David Tennant,

Last Saturday, I was having a usual kind of a weekend day when I discovered the voice in my head has your face and one of your accents, it speaks with your voice too. 

Now that I've got the weirdest part of this email out of the way, for which I feel like I should apologise, for I never asked your permission, can I please point out that it was a surprising discovery for me too. And perhaps I was too hasty to call it the weirdest part of the email, because, now I realise I owe it to you to talk about the voices in my head and how you got there. 

I have two key voices in my head. One of them that says, "Nobody will ever love you." and the other one that says, "I wish I was dead." Till Saturday, the first voice used to say, "nobody will ever love me." It's cruel hard voice and I couldn't for the life of me understand why it was so incredibly cruel to me. I have many people who love me dearly and yet, there it was, like none of that mattered and I could never win. Usually, I only wanted it to shut up - picture pushing a ball to the bottom of the pool - can't be done. On Saturday, I paused and decided to talk to this voice - I asked it what did it want to tell me. (I think before then I used to ask it what did it want me to do?) And that is when I saw you leaning back and sitting on the couch (my couch in my living room) and saying, "nobody loves you." Huh? Right? me too, exactly.

Now this must be really annoying for you to hear, that people have you in their head saying cruel things to them, but trust me I was SO relieved to see you there. Finally, it wasn't me realising that nobody would ever love me, but you telling me that. Because while you are this very lovely person in real life and plenty of your performances, you are also a horrible man in ---, and you are good at heart but can only be seen being horrid in Good Omens. So, suddenly I had the space to be curious about this voice in my head, and wonder about it. Whether I was trusting you but you are actually horrible (like Deadwater Fell) or if I thought you are being horrid to me but actually you are trying to save humanity (like Crowley). 

So, I asked you (still sitting on my couch) to make some room for other voices on the couch, that you really couldn't hog all of the space for yourself. (This is actually a trick that a therapist once taught me, she told me that I didn't need to shut up voices, just allow enough space for other voices.) 

And we've been having some conversations and I realise you only pipe out of nowhere and startle me when you think I am living against my values, not meeting my potential, and wasting my time procrastinating and what not... why would you not say that instead of telling me no one loves me, is beyond me for now, but we are talking. I have a feeling that Mary Poppins style you'll soon find that I have grown up and there others who need your help, and to be honest, I am really looking forward to that. But also, if they are not unwanted, big bear hugs to Crowley and you. 

PS: I have since spoken to the other voice too, the one who tells me it would be best to be dead. And learnt that she only pops up when I am feeling that the world is too big and nothing I can do can make a difference, so I might as well give up and die. I can't see her yet, she hides just out of sight, but I hope she'll come to the table too.