Just lunch break thoughts

It is really fun to be with someone who understands a lot of my basic assumptions about what life is and how it should be lived. in fact, come to think of it, who has been instrumental in giving shape* to some of the ideas i hold now to be self evident truths. However, as it happens, and what was very cruelly referred to as "mutual freaking out" i did make this (very hollywood-y?) assumption that, in all the things that are important to either of us, we will make sense to each other. i am starting to doubt that now, i think that while someone can be quite core to my world, no one person is enough to be my world - that is why the world is there! while i know, that if it starts to really matter, i will learn all about every sport in the world for dear mr., and do it willingly happily - it is completely unnecessary. so, i will ocassionally have more meaningful conversations with people i have known for a whole lot lessor time, and to be honest, for whom I care a whole lot less**, than I will with dear mr. but that is to be expected and it is alright. it is not the death of anything^! 

To leave you with one of the 18 rules of living by Dalai Lama: "Remember that the best relationship is one
in which your love for each other exceeds^^ your need for each other."

*happens when you are friends.
**not a realised master, yet.
^haha - something i am working on; coming from where i do, i cannot help but ask the tolstoyan question - "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." what kind of a family are we? and if my gut feeling is right in that we are a happy family, then how do we stay that way? do such statements even mean anything?
^^fascinating to realise that both need and love co-exist.

 

PS: and i had this light bulb moment today that confusion is the mother of procastination, when clarity strikes i never delay in writing for the blog!

day dreams

I am in this very comfortable space in life, right now, as long as I can be forgetful of my own irritating habits and the need to use-the-peace, at least. I have a dream of a boy-friend - my dream, precisely - and we are moving at a very easy pace - which is more imposed upon us* than planned, he very very sweetly told me.

It was sunny outside and then I came across a blog that felt like comfortable summer holidays in words, all said, the thing is I am full of this energy that means I must write or paint or potter around a garden or at the least climb a wall!! Or maybe, I need to apply all the philosophy I hear and find a way to direct my energies to all the things i must do (stop procastinating!). One of the things I struggle with, for instance, is washing and drying clothes - the process involves 2 flights of stairs, about 6 doors, 2 that need keys and one that is very stiff, one way and then putting them on the line and the whole thing all over again - all of this on limited day light, is frankly, impossible. Another thing that I must do is frame art - and where do I even start - to drop them at the shop and pick them up later would mean that each one of them costs over $50 - so currently my laundry basket is full of art - ha! I must start riding my bicycle to work and save $11 a day - but did I tell you how many keys and doors does riding a bike involve? Anyway, hence I dream of a house with a yard and hence I wonder if it is possible to do that in Sydney? Maybe sunny Brisbane? But as my wise old brother says, everything comes in packages. So, anyhow, I wonder what kind of a wedding we will have - which is a nice place to be - because my gut reaction, not very long ago, was, "oh no, no wedding!" and now I think it would be stupid to not share our joy, considering how much our friends matter to us! The fact that I was given room to change my mind at the pace I needed, makes me very grateful for the luck I am enjoying! I would like an intimate ceremony where everyone is comfortable and everything is beautiful and meaningful, without cliches. We have time to get there, there is no rush, so I will keep you posted how it all goes.

*different cities, jobs and whatever else.

In defence of letters

I really like a letter. Apart from all the things it says, I find the assumptions in  the mere act of sitting down to write a letter to someone, very heartwarming, almost a corner stone to civilisations.let me list them:
- I can think of at least one specific person who has time and intent to hear me speak;
- I can collect my thoughts and put them in words;
- I will find time to write to you;
- I believe they are worthy to be shared and will remain so at least for as long it takes for a letter to reach you;
- Our language has evolved to have the kind of accuracy that you will know exactly what I am trying to tell you (in spite of the fact that the written word has no tone :)

The fact that a letter is not a thought bubble, to be limited to a certain length, a scream out to the universe, jostling for it's moment in vague consciousness shows that it is not replaced by social media. The fact that it is longer than a single line, and cannot be clarified at the same pace as the recipient can think shows that  needs more thought than an email and is certainly not one.

if anything, i believe, a letter is best replaced by blogs; but not exactly - at least there is a hope that a post will stand the test of time, there is an effort to collect thoughts and put them in words that precisely mean what they are intended to.

If letters interest you, the Internet is currently home to a wonderful website called 'Letters of Note' that has a curated list of letters picked by __. There is also a website called 'Dear Future Me' that allows people to send delayed letters to themselves. One of my friends wrote a letter to himself and on receiving it remarked it felt like something from the doctor (WHO) - kind and wise. He writes good letters but, in spirit of full disclosure, there are also a lot public letters on that website that sound like alcohol or fatigue riddled ramblings of a neurotic*. However, there is always that last, unfathomable option too of pinning thoughts down into words and sentences and sending them off to someone too!

*Wikipedia explains that, "In essence, neurosis is a distorted way of looking at the world and at oneself, determined by compulsive needs rather than by a genuine interest in the world as it is."

Once you begin watching spiders...

There must be some irony is escaping the winters and catching a summer cold on your holiday, but here it is! My first pair of jeans in years is stuffed with tissues and my throat feels like sand paper. All holidays seem to have a theme, much like the lands in the faraway land and wishing chair books, and this one seems to be: 'familiar'! Long-ago people and new places (and even some new people) have yet to surprise me - and i would over-think but a cold is a good cure to that!

I read a good book, which is like the icing on the holiday-cake, called Banker to the Poor - it had some really interesting ideas and the one I am currently obsessing over is the idea of competition without greed. He says that currently capitalism is all about competition with personal greed, and he talks about competition without personal greed - I am wondering about competition - I think I am not a competitive person, but, am i? and anyway, how does it tie into (my own favourite idea) the main purpose of schools? the students of today will run the economy tomorrow. was it ever just to get a degree? does it teach us to think? to relate? what are schools for?

I am itching to start my blog of interviews - I really should get my act together and speak to people and ask them some half decent questions. I think there are answers around if someone has the wit to capture them. In the meantime, I have been reading my stock of blogs and letters and I'll leave you with one, by EB White, that resonated with me simply because I really think spiders are amazing and their webs are a joy* to look at!

As for Charlotte herself, I had never paid much attention to spiders until a few years ago. Once you begin watching spiders, you haven't time for much else---the world is really loaded with them. I do not find them repulsive or revolting, any more than I find anything in nature repulsive or revolting, and I think it is too bad that children are often corrupted by their elders in this hate campaign. Spiders are skilful, amusing and useful. and only in rare instances has anybody ever come to grief because of a spider.

*not to the fly, I am sure!